I was recently working with a client who has been searching for a C-level position for the past 18 months. She recently emailed me to say that she was frustrated because a colleague that had been laid off along with her had recently landed a position due, in part, to help she received from their former colleagues. 

Apparently, these colleagues had formed a little club or clique of those who had previously worked together, and my client was not included in the inner circle. So instead of feeling happy for her former colleague, my client was struggling with feelings of resentment and jealousy. Can you relate?

It isn't always easy to get excited for our friends and colleagues when we're feeling stuck and frustrated. Here’s what I will tell you. You reap what you sow. Remember that old saying?

Having said that, here's my advice to you (if you find yourself in this situation) and to my client. Celebrate your friend's success. Congratulate her. Be supportive of her. Tell her you’re happy for her. Ask how you can help her be successful as she makes the transition into a new job. 

In addition, be sure to let her know that you're still looking and would appreciate her help. In fact, would she be willing to make some introductions for you when she settles in? If she says no, ask why. If there’s a specific reason, accept it with gratitude, no matter what she tells you – good, bad or otherwise.

Feeling left out of the “club? Adopt an attitude of who cares? You weren’t in – so what? In some ways we're all left to our own devices when job hunting or looking to advance our careers, right? Recognize that you have plenty of people who are in your corner and rooting for your success. Focus your attention and energies on them.

If you believe in the law of attraction (and I do) then what you put out (helping other people find jobs, celebrating their success) will come back to you at some point even if it's not in the way you might expect, so hang in there. Just remember that the perfect job, opportunity, or whatever it is you are searching for is out there and, with a little patience, you're going to find it.

I've been known to say every now and then that it's not what you know but who you know when it comes to creating your own success story. But what if who you know is your younger brother, who just happens to be Mark Zuckerberg, the co-founder of Facebook?

This is the case for Randi Zuckerberg who was Marketing Director for Facebook until she announced on August 3rd that she was leaving Facebook to start her own company. Is she crazy or courageous? Depends on what kind of risk taker you are. 

Most people I talk to view risk in negative terms. In fact, Webster's defines risk as "to expose to hazard or danger." With a definition like that, who can blame anyone for avoiding risks?

Yet taking risks is critical for your long-term success. In fact, the authors of Breaking the Glass Ceiling indicate that taking risks is a key success factor for women, while not necessarily the case for men.

Afraid of taking risks? Try these simple steps to overcome your fear. 

1. Start small. Take a new route to work. Go see a movie by yourself. Try coffee instead of tea. You get the picture.

2. Take "deliberate" risks. Deliberate risks are ones that you choose to take, typically after completing some fact finding or analysis. This approach actually helps to mitigate the risk because you are in control.

3. Set risk taking goals. Ask yourself what you hope to accomplish. Then write down one goal about the risk that you would like to take. Break it down into smaller chunks. Then do one thing - today - to move yourself forward.

4. Reward yourself. Risk-taking can be draining, particularly if you are not used to it. So, don't forget to do something nice for yourself after taking a risk - no matter how large or small!

What are the benefits? People who are comfortable taking risks typically experience increased autonomy, heightened self-esteem, a more positive attitude toward life and an increased sense of personal power.

If you hope to be able to access your full potential, you will need to become more comfortable taking risks. That means stepping out of your comfort zone and sacrificing security. Remember the old adage, no risk no reward.

On that note, I hope you will join me as I applaud Randi Zuckerberg for having to the courage to NOT play it safe as so many of us might do under similar circumstances.

What risks are you willing to take? Share your comments here.

I recently started a discussion on the topic of board quotas for women with some of the LinkedIn Groups I belong to. Here's what I posted:

Are you for or against board quotas for women? Read the Economist article: The wrong way to promote women and tell me what you think. http://budurl.com/BoardQuotas

The responses have been very interesting and I plan to share them with you here in a future post. In the meantime, I'd like you to take a few moments and read the article. Then, join the debate by positng comments on this blog.

I look forward to hearing what you think!

P.S. Next month we'll be rolling out our Fall Calendar of events. Stay tuned!  

There are times when skimming something is just fine. The Sunday paper, your swimming pool, a magazine in a dentist office, TV channels when you're home sick, the internet when you're looking for new boots, and so forth.

But more and more, I find that we are skimming in all areas of our lives. When is it NOT okay to just skim along? When it comes to your career.

Granted, the past few years have been tough. Perhaps you've lost a job, taken a paycut or been shuffled into a position that you could easily live without. While I'm sorry to hear that, it's time for me to say (in the words of Cher's character in Moonstruck), "Snap out of it!"

In every company there are opportunities for those who take initiative and deliver results. The challenge is that if you've been skimming along in your job, you may have forgotten how to do a deep dive into anything and that's a real shame. 

Does this sound like you? Not to worry. Here are some ideas to help you go deep in your career once again. 

Start by moving from being simply a casual Curious George (remember him from the popular children's book?) to a serious student of your career. That means take time to re-engage in your job. Find out what MORE you can do to help your department reach it's goals. Hone your skills by taking classes or reading books. (Did you know one of the first questions Donald Trump asks people is what three books are you reading right now? The answers are very telling!)

And, if you're not sure where to start, don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes having a conversation with a trusted friend, advisor or coach may be just the ticket you need to get you jump-started. Whatever you do, don't just sit there and whither away waiting for something to happen.
 
Remember, good things only come to those who initiate!

A number of years ago I read an article about the concept of AQ. What is it? It's your adversity quotient, a measure of how you react to adverse situations.  And some experts feel it's more important than your IQ (intelligence quotient) and your EQ (emotional quotient) combined, at least when it comes to your long term success.

I was thinking about this concept this past week because it was one of those weeks where it seemed like nothing went my way. Can you relate?

First, my husband comes home from Germany and gives me a horrible head cold and sore throat. (I told him next time I'll just take the tee shirt.) 

Then, a contract that I thought was a slam dunk suddenly took up an inordinate amount of time and required me to contact my attorney for assistance. (Can you say: Cha-ching! Cha-ching!) And, as of this writing, the contract is still in-play.

And, to add insult to injury, an organization that is infringing on my trademark thinks a fair resolution is for me to allow them to continue to use it - at no cost or inconvenience to them - for a period of two more years! This, despite the fact that my rights go back for more then a decade and I have registered the marks with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

Finally, many of you know that I do a lot of speaking through conference keynotes, corporate training, teleseminars and webinars. And this week I had to present a 60-minute teleseminar with almost no voice.
(I feel really sorry for the participants!)

Why do I mention all this? Because one of my secrets of success is having a very high AQ. In other words, despite whatever adversity, unexpected challenges, or disasters that come my way, I always manage to find a way to focus on my priorities and power through the set-backs.

What's your AQ? Do you think it helps or hinders your success? Share your comments here.

Don’t get huffy. It’s a legitimate question. A big challenge for women is being viewed as both confident and competent. And, like it or not, your perceived level of confidence will be a strong indicator of your perceived level of competence. This is a catch-22 for many women.

Here’s a case in point. I had a coaching call with a woman aspiring to be the regional president of a banking organization. She had a game plan and was savvy enough to move into a role with more visibility and potential to impact the bottom line.

Her biggest challenge? Being out of her comfort zone and exposing her lack of competence in her new role, all of which she told me with relative ease.

Her greatest success? Reluctantly claiming the top producer slot in her region, in spite of the fact that in her opinion, she still had a lot to learn.

I had to point out that her last comment was, in the words of Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It co-author, Carol Frohlinger, nice girl behavior. This woman needs to change her mindset pronto. While she still may have some learning to do, competence is clearly not a problem for her, however, her confidence is a whole different story.

How confident are you? Take this short survey. Then share your comments here.
 

It’s hard to believe that there was a time when Oprah was uncomfortable with her power but it’s true.  So if you don’t feel comfortable with power, then you’re obviously not alone. The fact is most women I talk to shudder when I bring up the topic of power. (Maybe you’re even shuddering right now!) Why do I bring up this topic? I bring it up when a woman gets a new job, gets promoted or is struggling in her role.

In her first interview with Oprah, Pattie Sellers, Editor at Large for Fortune magazine’s Most Powerful Women list, said that Oprah swore that she didn’t like the idea of being powerful. A few years later, Oprah told her that when she realized her power was to “have an impact with purpose,” she changed her tune. That’s when she actually fell in love with the idea of being powerful.

So what happened for Oprah? Like most women, she held the male viewpoint about power, which is that view of “power over others.”  She changed her viewpoint to “power as impact” or one of influence.

Here's a question for you to think about. What would the impact be on your personal or professional life if you shifted your viewpoint on power or helped other women shift theirs? Your answers may surprise you.

Are you comfortable with your power? Share your comments here.  

This is a question that I often ask myself and my clients. The minute I feel like I’m just busy, I stop what I’m doing, take time to review my goals and figure out what results I’m trying to achieve. Then, I figure out what activities I should be focused on, prioritize them and move forward.

In the June issue of The WATT® Report, our email newsletter for WATT® Network members, I shared my thoughts on why women need to focus on meaningful action and results, not what they intend to do or how hard they work. (Contact info@theWATTnetwork.com to learn how to join, subscribe or receive a complimentary copy.)

Are you doing the right things? Share your comments here.


P.S. Check out the upcoming Women at the Top® teleseminars here!

Back in February, I received some feedback that surprised me from a LinkedIn Group comprised primarily of women, when I posted an article in which Shirley Jackson, president of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, was featured as the highest paid board member. Considering how many women continue to be underpaid, I thought this was a milestone worthy of recognition.

From  my perspective, tall poppy syndrome (TPS) may have reared it's ugly head once again. (To learn more about TPS, read my 08/26/10 post titled, Do You Suffer from Tall Poppy Syndrome?) In talking with my readers and other women in business, it appears that many of you feel that regardless of whether we'd make the same choices that Shirley Jackson has made, her accomplishments are still cause for celebration. As a result of these conversations, I wrote a newsletter article titled, Three Reasons Why Women Don't Get Heard at Work.  

Do you feel you're heard at work? Why or why not? Share your comments here.
 

Did you miss me? It's been almost three months since my last blog post. I literally dropped out of sight. Here's why.

First, it was blog technical difficulties. Somehow I lost a few posts, and my assistant and I spent way too much time trying to figure out what happened instead of just working on new posts. Of course, during this process we also tried to retrieve the old posts only to learn that the service I use doesn't backup individual blogs. The lesson: have a backup plan in place.

Then, business picked up at a pace I'd not seen in over two years. Like every other company, I was running using a skeleton support team and we had to scramble to get all the work done while maintaining the high standards and quality my customers expect. Can you say sleep deprived?! The lesson: have a backup plan in place.

On top of that, my amazing virutal assistant, Trudy Johnson, who has been with me for the past two years, decided to "retire" from her business so that she can focus on homeschooling her three kids. While I applaud her decision, I was devastated to see her go. Don't worry, I've stopped crying now. The lesson: have a backup plan in place.

And finally, I had a family medical emergency that required me to be in NY for a period of time. I guess you might say when it rains it pours! During this crazy time, I had to focus only on essential client work and backburner the rest, mainly because I didn't have anyone that I could hand it off too. The lesson: have a backup plan.

Can you relate to this?

For the record, I was able to cobble together the support I needed to get the important things done during this time. And, while I thought I had a backup plan in place before, you can rest assured that I have one in place now.

I'm resuming my blog posts and look forward to connecting with you once again on a regular basis. If you have a chance, jot me a note and let me know what's new with you. I'd love to hear from you.

In closing, for those of you celebrating Memorial Day, best wishes to you for a happy and safe holiday!